The past few weeks at work have been eventful, to say the least. Much has come out in the news about a doc that a now ex-employee wrote, and much discussion has happened about the doc internally as well.
A lot of my women colleagues feel angry, depressed and hurt by the doc (To be fair, most men are against it too). Some men on the other hand dont see anything wrong with what the doc advocates. And thats leaving the women even more hurt and angry, because that proves this is a general notion that men have, rather than the author of the doc being an isolated case.
I am writing this down to clear my own views about the contents of the doc. I dont agree with it - as a woman, its only natural that I feel that way.
But I am not hurt or angry about it. I was a little surprised by it, I will admit to that. I did not think that men from developed countries thought this way - I had associated these types of ideas with men from countries like India. It was eye opening to see that this was not quite the case.
Personally though, I think the doc helped me.
I am pregnant with my second child, and I think often about whether I am prioritizing the right things.. I wonder if am I being a selfish mommy who wants to have a serious job when I could sit at home and be with my children all day long. I wonder if am I being selfish to pursue my own interests. I wonder if I am neglecting my children by not spending every waking moment with them. I wonder whether it would be better for me to quit.
But the contents of that doc, and some of the responses from men who used to think like that made me realize that a lot of them grow up with this attitude because their mothers did not work outside the home. In my view, there is only one way to change that - and that is to get more women to be in the workplace so the next generation has fewer people who believe this. I think I came to this conclusion because my husband is so supportive of my work - and I think the reason he is that way is because his own mother worked as an engineer until she retired at age 55.
So now I look at my work as not just something I do for myself - it is something I do for my children as well, in order to raise them as supportive, understanding future colleagues, husbands and/or fathers. I look at it as my contribution to society.
And that makes me resolved to stay in the workforce. So thank you, James Damore.
A lot of my women colleagues feel angry, depressed and hurt by the doc (To be fair, most men are against it too). Some men on the other hand dont see anything wrong with what the doc advocates. And thats leaving the women even more hurt and angry, because that proves this is a general notion that men have, rather than the author of the doc being an isolated case.
I am writing this down to clear my own views about the contents of the doc. I dont agree with it - as a woman, its only natural that I feel that way.
But I am not hurt or angry about it. I was a little surprised by it, I will admit to that. I did not think that men from developed countries thought this way - I had associated these types of ideas with men from countries like India. It was eye opening to see that this was not quite the case.
Personally though, I think the doc helped me.
I am pregnant with my second child, and I think often about whether I am prioritizing the right things.. I wonder if am I being a selfish mommy who wants to have a serious job when I could sit at home and be with my children all day long. I wonder if am I being selfish to pursue my own interests. I wonder if I am neglecting my children by not spending every waking moment with them. I wonder whether it would be better for me to quit.
But the contents of that doc, and some of the responses from men who used to think like that made me realize that a lot of them grow up with this attitude because their mothers did not work outside the home. In my view, there is only one way to change that - and that is to get more women to be in the workplace so the next generation has fewer people who believe this. I think I came to this conclusion because my husband is so supportive of my work - and I think the reason he is that way is because his own mother worked as an engineer until she retired at age 55.
So now I look at my work as not just something I do for myself - it is something I do for my children as well, in order to raise them as supportive, understanding future colleagues, husbands and/or fathers. I look at it as my contribution to society.
And that makes me resolved to stay in the workforce. So thank you, James Damore.
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